These are all our thoughts in word form. Not to be confused with our thoughts in worm form. Those look like this.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Forgotten Review of Cars 2 by Jairo Portillo

1 Fuck Larry the Cable Guy.
2 If you ask a friend or family member to behave differently in front of company, then you're the asshole for telling them to put their pants back on.
3 Should someone put a bomb on your friend, the best idea is to go straight to the leader of the country your currently visiting (the queen has no political power but she will do).
4 Should your movie be lacking in plot, then have a character tortured and killed to make up for it.
5 The queen can make anyone a spy. I assume this extends to all heads of states (even though she isn't one) and so President Obama probably has Carrot Top on standby.
6 International secret agents don’t do thorough background checks on their allies because, you know … what can you learn from background checks?
7 If you cost your friend one of the biggest races of his career, that he has spent his whole life working towards, he should understand you did it on accident. Because it’s not like it’s a big deal.
8 Fuck you. Larry the Goddamn Cable Guy. For causing Pixar to make its first shitty movie in the name of giving your character more screentime.